Embracing change
/In just a few days, life will change forever.
My husband and I went for a walk at Makara beach today. I like the feeling of impermanence the beach brings, that space between water and land. The transience of the waves lapping at the sand, drawing out and in, with the windmills spinning in the distance. With our baby due in just a few days, it symbolises the liminal space between one life, as a couple and a cat, and the next life, as couple with cat and child. A whole new experience beyond what we’ve had so far.
Change can be really scary. It throws up all sorts of questions you’ve never had to answer before and forces some hard stuff to come to the surface. As adults, we’ve had quite a few years of living life on our own terms. We’ve shaped our lives how we want to (mostly!) and have a lot of control over what we do day to day, what we eat, who we spend our time with, what we spend our time on.
When change happens, whether it’s having a baby, getting sick, entering into a new relationship or a new phase of it, or losing someone, it causes a jolt and make us realise how much is not within our control. I’ve been reflecting more on this in the last couple of weeks, while I’ve been off work and much more in the present moment, just noticing. I reckon most of us have a strong sense of entitlement over the way things should be. You only need to look at social media to see people mouthing off about anything that’s not within their identity politics, not within their frame of reference, and how disgusting and wrong it is.
Perhaps this feeling of being entitled to do and be things, to always look great in an Instagram pic or get that next level up in your career or be able to sleep 8 hours straight a night, can be combined in a negative way with our fear of change. Perhaps it stops us from being flexible and accept ‘bad’ emotions, stressful situations and the like. I don’t think it’s a generational thing. Often older generations think younger people are more entitled, regardless of what decade they grew up in.
It’s worth remembering all the changes that have gone before. When I think of Makara, I remember going there on my first trip to Wellington with a friend who was trying to convince me to move here, and that weekend making the decision to do just that. I remember going for a walk there with another friend on a beautiful autumn afternoon, the same day I had my first date with my future husband. A couple of years later, walking along the slippery pebbles and eating ice cream after having surgery, feeling pretty scared about my health, while at the same time looking forward to picking up our new kitten. And then there was this weekend, with all the changes ahead for our family.
How do you cope with life changes? Resist, grin and bear it, or thrive on it? I’m keen to hear some of your ideas on living with change and embracing it.
Here’s another post I wrote about maternity leave and changes at work
